Book Review: "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" by Matthew Perry

 

"What if I wasn't enough, like I always wasn't enough?"

This fear was the lifelong companion of Matthew Perry, whose beloved character saved, and is still, saving a lot of people across the Earth. He was enough, more than enough. He just didn't believe it. And that feeling is so certain for literally millions of people, including me, that is impossible just not to sympathize with every word that is written here.

We see Matthew's history since childhood and we can see how the feeling of worthlessness comes together since this young age and what ultimately brought him to look for things to make him feel "wonderful."

This seems to be a story all over the place, I think it's like it was written in a way Matthew was telling us every aspect as if he was telling us with us by him, like he were talking in front of us. I don't know, maybe at the end the editors found that to be a good idea, and it looks messy in certain parts, but you get the hang of it. I read some comments about this book and saw some complaints about this issue, but in the end, I felt as if I was talking to a friend.

Yes, this book caught my attention when it was released because I'm a Friends fan, but I didn't read it at the moment, I just didn't look for it and I chose other books instead. After his passing, I considered to reading it again, but the hype surrounding this event made me pause. The way he left caused a great impression and I wasn't ready, especially because the first reports were indicating the use of ketamine, a drug that I had previously used for my depression treatment, which I hated and felt down because that would've mean he was in a really bad place for that sort of drug.

I got my Kobo this month, yay! I don't even remember the first book I read, but the second was this one. My heart felt I really had to do it. It was, needless to say, incredibly difficult. Yet, I came to understand alcoholism in a certain way that I hadn't seen before. I've lived with an alcoholic my whole life, there are huge differences between Matthew's experiences and his, of course, but the main idea is there, and my sympathy grew exponentially, so I thank Matthew for the laughs in the show, but for the teaching about his condition as well. It's an eye-opener.

This book made me laugh because, how could you not laugh? It's Matthew Perry you're reading about! It didn't make me cry, but man, it was gut-wrenching, I had to stop several times because it was too much, but I'm glad I could read all of it. I learned a lot, not just about himself, but also about people and their own addictions surrounding me. 

I'll leave here 5 quotes from the book:

• My mind is out to kill me, and I know it.
• Somehow the culture all around me had taught me that drinking equaled laughing and having fun, and a much needed escaped from pain.
• Something that has often saved my life is that I get scared.
• I am a romantic, passionate person. I have longed for love; it's a yearning in me that I cannot fully explain.
• There are so many scars on my stomach that all I need to do is look down to know that I've been through a war, a self-inflicted war.

MATTHEW LANGFORD PERRY was a Canadian-American actor, best known for his role as Chandler Bing on the iconic sitcom Friends. His portrayal of Chandler, with his sharp wit and sarcastic humor, made him a fan favorite and earned him widespread recognition. Perry was also open about his struggles with addiction, becoming an advocate for recovery and even opening a sober facility. He was born on August 19, 1969 and passed away on October 28, 2023, leaving behind a legacy of laughter, talent, and resilience.