Book Review: "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" by Matthew Perry

 

"What if I wasn't enough, like I always wasn't enough?"

This fear was the lifelong companion of Matthew Perry, whose beloved character saved, and is still, saving a lot of people across the Earth. He was enough, more than enough. He just didn't believe it. And that feeling is so certain for literally millions of people, including me, that is impossible just not to sympathize with every word that is written here.

We see Matthew's history since childhood and we can see how the feeling of worthlessness comes together since this young age and what ultimately brought him to look for things to make him feel "wonderful."

This seems to be a story all over the place, I think it's like it was written in a way Matthew was telling us every aspect as if he was telling us with us by him, like he were talking in front of us. I don't know, maybe at the end the editors found that to be a good idea, and it looks messy in certain parts, but you get the hang of it. I read some comments about this book and saw some complaints about this issue, but in the end, I felt as if I was talking to a friend.

Yes, this book caught my attention when it was released because I'm a Friends fan, but I didn't read it at the moment, I just didn't look for it and I chose other books instead. After his passing, I considered to reading it again, but the hype surrounding this event made me pause. The way he left caused a great impression and I wasn't ready, especially because the first reports were indicating the use of ketamine, a drug that I had previously used for my depression treatment, which I hated and felt down because that would've mean he was in a really bad place for that sort of drug.

I got my Kobo this month, yay! I don't even remember the first book I read, but the second was this one. My heart felt I really had to do it. It was, needless to say, incredibly difficult. Yet, I came to understand alcoholism in a certain way that I hadn't seen before. I've lived with an alcoholic my whole life, there are huge differences between Matthew's experiences and his, of course, but the main idea is there, and my sympathy grew exponentially, so I thank Matthew for the laughs in the show, but for the teaching about his condition as well. It's an eye-opener.

This book made me laugh because, how could you not laugh? It's Matthew Perry you're reading about! It didn't make me cry, but man, it was gut-wrenching, I had to stop several times because it was too much, but I'm glad I could read all of it. I learned a lot, not just about himself, but also about people and their own addictions surrounding me. 

I'll leave here 5 quotes from the book:

• My mind is out to kill me, and I know it.
• Somehow the culture all around me had taught me that drinking equaled laughing and having fun, and a much needed escaped from pain.
• Something that has often saved my life is that I get scared.
• I am a romantic, passionate person. I have longed for love; it's a yearning in me that I cannot fully explain.
• There are so many scars on my stomach that all I need to do is look down to know that I've been through a war, a self-inflicted war.

MATTHEW LANGFORD PERRY was a Canadian-American actor, best known for his role as Chandler Bing on the iconic sitcom Friends. His portrayal of Chandler, with his sharp wit and sarcastic humor, made him a fan favorite and earned him widespread recognition. Perry was also open about his struggles with addiction, becoming an advocate for recovery and even opening a sober facility. He was born on August 19, 1969 and passed away on October 28, 2023, leaving behind a legacy of laughter, talent, and resilience.

Read More

5 Quotes from "N.P." by Banana Yoshimoto

 

These are the 5 quotes I choose from Banana Yoshimoto's "N.P.":

• " [...] The absent party takes on this enormous presence. My father wasn't there, but life revolved around him, anyway."
• I wrote the note in defiance of the hidden darkness that was my enemy.
• For the most part, I live my life as if time didn't matter, but when I see Mother, I feel as if a time machine has suddenly transported me into a well-defined future. The changes in my mother made me keenly aware of the passage of time.
• "Once you get involved with a text, it's difficult to let go of it or create it in another language. That's what I think. Of course, if you don't like the book to begin with, then you have to suffer through it," she said with a smile. " [...] I've been translating  for more than ten years, and sometimes I get weary. Translations exhausts you in a special way. [...] You become so involved with the writer's style that it starts to feel like your own. You spend hours every day with it, and then you end up feeling that you alone had created it in the first place, and then your thoughts fall into sync with the author's, and that's very peculiar. Why, sometimes I get so far into the author's thought processes that I feel no resistance at all. I become unable to distinguish my thoughts from hers, and sometimes I find myself thinking the way she would, not just about the book, but about my own life, even when I'm not translating. Particularly if the author has a very strong personality, a translator gets drawn in so tightly, much more so than an ordinary reader would."
• I wasn't a child anymore, and that made me feel awfully lonesome, and utterly alone.

Read More

5 frases de "La ridícula idea de no volver a verte" de Rosa Montero

 

Estas son las cinco frases con las que me quedo de La ridícula idea de no volver a verte de Rosa Montero:

• El verdadero dolor es indecible. Si puedes hablar de lo que te acongoja estás de  suerte: eso significa que no es tan importante. Porque cuando el dolor cae sobre ti sin paliativos, lo primero que te arranca es la palabra.
• A veces [tengo] la idea ridícula de que todo esto es una ilusión y que vas a volver. ¿No tuve ayer, al oír cerrarse la puerta, la idea absurda de que eras tú?
• Esta vehemencia en la autoflagelación es típica de la enamorada que siente que se ha puesto en ridículo. ¿Por qué otra causa puede decir una mujer con tanta desesperación que ha sido, es y será una estúpida si no es porque se le ha roto el corazón.
• Buuuuuummmmm, estalla la bomba del recuerdo en tu cabeza, o quizá en tu corazón, o en tu garganta. Puro terrorismo emocional.
• No, Marie se dirige a Pierre porque no pudo despedirse, porque no pudo decirle todo lo que hubiera tenido que decirle, porque no pudo completar la narración de su existencia en común.

Read More

Reseña de libro: "Poesía completa" de Alejandra Pizarnik

 

¡Este bendito libro! No creo que haya persona que no se encuentre en alguno de los poemas de Alejandra Pizarnik. Y esto es increíble a la vez que muy triste. 

Intenté leer este libro con calma, despacio, pero me fue imposible; es de esas lecturas que se vuelven adictivas fácilmente porque, a medida que iba avanzando, era como por fin darle voz, léxico a esta alma tan pesada que aún cargo.

Qué cosas tan más raras y malvadas son el amor, la oscuridad y el miedo, que encuentran seres similares a los cuáles habitar y en dónde pertenecer a lo largo del tiempo. Somos de décadas distintas, pero al leer a Alejandra, no pude evitar preguntar por ambas el por qué la tristeza nos ha llegado hasta los huesos de una manera tan fácil, por qué estos han sido tan porosos desde una edad temprana y por qué nos ha dado igual dejar ganar todo sentimiento. Siento tristeza por ella y la abrazo... y luego me doy cuenta de que me estoy abrazando a mí. 

Leer su poesía fue delicioso y desgarrador. Sus letras están llenas de musicalidad pero también de silencio, de muerte y de la noche, de búsqueda y del miedo a sí misma, en la espera del final, teniendo un duelo personal. 

Con ella, la muerte se transforma en belleza en un mundo donde la vida está sobrevalorada. Con sus palabras, la muerte se acepta y se deja de temerle. La decisión final de Alejandra es trágica, pero, desde mi punto de vista, entendible. Qué cansancio y qué hartazgo puede ser la vida.

Yo siento que lo que más me llegó fue el aspecto del amor imposible. Le recordó a mi hueco pecho qué es lo que perdí y no volverá. Lloré las palabras de Alejandra que yo no había podido articular jamás.

Me sentía sola y Alejandra me hizo sentir lo contrario. 

LA ENAMORADA

esta lúgubre manía de vivir

esta recóndita humorada de vivir

te arrastra alejandra no lo niegues.

hoy te miraste en el espejo

y te fue triste estabas sola

la luz rugía el aire cantaba

pero tu amado no volvió

enviarás mensajes sonreirás

tremolarás tus manos así volverá

tu amado tan amado

oyes la demente sirena que lo robó

el barco con barbas de espuma

donde murieron las risas

recuerdas el último abrazo

oh nada de angustias

ríe en el pañuelo llora a carcajadas

pero cierra las puertas de tu rostro

para que no te digan luego

que aquella mujer enamorada fuiste tú

te remuerden los días

te culpan las noches

te duele la vida tanto tanto

desesperada, ¿adónde vas?

desesperada ¡nada más!

FLORA ALEJANDRA PIZARNIK fue una poeta, ensayista y traductora argentina. Estudió Filosofía y Letras en la Universidad de Buenos Aires y, más tarde, pintura con Juan Batlle Planas. Publicó poemas y críticas en varios diarios y tradujo a Antonin Artaud, Henri Michaux, Aimé Césaire e Yves Bonnefoy. Además, estudió historia de las religiones y literatura francesa en La Sorbona. Se considera que sus trabajos y su poesía dejaron un valioso legado para la literatura latinoamericana. 

Read More

5 Quotes from "A Mercy" by Toni Morrison

These are the five quotes I liked the best from "A Mercy" by Toni Morrison:

• She learned that bathing naked in the river was a sin; that plucking cherries from a tree burdened with them was theft; that to eat corn mush with one's fingers was perverse.
• Religion, as Rebekka experienced it from her mother, was a flame fueled by a wondrous hatred.
• Weak as her faith was, there was no excuse for not protecting the soul of an infant from eternal perdition.
• Although they had nothing in common with the views of each other, they had everything in common with one thing: the promise and threat of men.
• To be female in this place is to be an open wound that cannot heal.

Read More